Cephalopod.

Someone once told me that there would be a point in my life where everyone would start dying. Well. Here we are. But that's not really what I want to talk about right now. When I got to school today I was presented with an overwhelming amount of work. The math assignment I was to turn in on Friday I turned in today, and it ended up being almost completely wrong. So I have to re-do that. And the weekend work that was assigned on Friday. And the work I was assigned for today. We've got a math modeling project due next week. And we're going to have a two part final the same day. Joy. In global studies we were assigned a research and culinary project due at the end of next week. Senior seminar brings completed college applications and internship presentations for career day due at YOU GUESSED IT the end of next week as well. I've got rehearsals almost every day for the Mainstage show at LTW I'm ASMing from 6:30-9:30ish. Wonderful. Overwhelming.


All I want to do is draw, and watch movies about grumpy old men, and not have to worry about where I sleep at night. I've got one semester and two weeks of senior year/high school/public education left. It was confirmed last Thursday and Friday that what I know I want to do with my life is right. I spent hours and hours typing up programs, prop lists, loading in and striking sets, continuing and finalizing direction, organizing the school play, and talking about future shows/projects. I didn't once have to think about math, or college, or anything I didn't want to. And in my spare time drank coffee, ate food, drew, and didn't have to do any of those things alone, or with people whom I didn't want to be around. What a concept. I suppose what it comes down to is that the things I want or have wanted have become the things I need. And I'm achieving almost everything I set out to. And I'm still a fucking kid. People wish and dream for life like this. And I sometimes feel like I don't deserve as much as I have. But I do. I really do. So I'm done listening to people telling me what I need to or should do with my life. And I'm done hiding everything. The only thing limiting me is this school. And I don't have much more of that to deal with. Once I'm sent out of the deep end and into the ocean I'm going to make my final metamorphosis into the octopus I've always wanted to be. Spewing ink, performing with the mer-people, and wrapping my tentacles around those who I've always wanted, and never letting go.