Is it rum cake?

It was like a concentration camp of the twenty-first century. I can barely explain it. We were all waiting for our names to be called to meet someone. Later I was running. I hopped into a black car and two friends of mine who had been surviving were a threat now because of me. They said, "Don't worry. You're not going to die." And I said, "Yes I am. If they use against you what you fear most they're going to force me to an eternity of black silence." 
Strangely it sounds like 1984. 
They caught us, and gave us a "warning" that too would end in death if we wouldn't behave. And I knew I couldn't. Amanda Gremel in the sunlight getting out of a striped, orange van, with the smallest matching orange sunglasses I've ever seen, knocks out the guards. We change the identities they were looking for. 


I wake up and eat rum cake.

The Pettycoat Boutique!

The Easy Morning.

It's always right at this time of month, these days.

You sat two chairs away from me, and said no word through the first half or more of the dream. People from our middle school, and my high school all sat at tables in celebration of a coworker's soon to be child. It was weird though, because she was a few months along and they had taken the fetus out of her and put it into a large tin can. Like an elongated cookie tin. I played the newer Panic At The Disco album. I thought it might get you to talk to me. Someone came up to me and tried to get me to turn it off but I said something not offensive that got them to walk away. People spoke around us. Your hair had grown to the length I knew you with, but it and your dark clothes [hoodie and your ever-familiar skinny jeans] couldn't hide the delicate looking scar around your neck. All of your skin had gotten darker. Your movements were manic. When I finally reached for your hand you seemed startled, but I held it nonetheless. As my fingers wrapped into yours they noticed the dry, roughness of your skin. No one's skin should ever feel like that. We just sat there for a while. I don't remember  what we talked about, because frankly I don't know that we would.

Jessie, who you never met invited us upstairs to a long table full of people you had also never met. You sat next to her, and across from me, and I was receiving text messages from Christopher. You asked who he was, and you watched me talk about him for a while, and upon my finishing said, "We really need to catch up."

And when I woke up I pulled the covers off myself, and stared at my room for a bit.

Each time I have a dream about you, you say something different to me about who I am now, and about our lack of communication. It's like a monthly visit I keep not expecting, because I keep not remembering that I can't just call you.

8.

Again. Will he offer me his hunger?

1. Forever now.
2. I feel like this would be a funky, spanish, western of us.
3. I used to hopelessly sing this to myself before I met you. Also. You're clever.
4. I knew the beats better than the lyrics.
5. I was convinced this was about wizards before I heard the word "science." Also this song is great.
6. You were right. About the introduction. This is fucking cute.
7. When I recognized it before the lyrics I choked. I hadn't been able to find a non-live version of it. Thank you.
8. This only made me slightly uncomfortable. But I get it.
9. Not the two for you.
10. I would have if you hadn't.
11. The trumpeter played along backstage for me.
12. This was on when I walked in and you weren't there.
13. You drove me around the gaslight parking lot to this. I remembered, specifically, the purse line.
14. This makes me want to walk like a G.
15. Waking up.
16. This one made me feel guilty, a little. 
17. Hopefully I won't get sunburned.